In case you hadn’t already noticed, Captain EditorPants is out of town so in addition to all of the creative stuff (read: lurking reddit in my underwear) I am also doing all of the formatting/posting/hamster feeding to keep the site Summer’s Eve fresh. Normally Captain EditorPants handles all of that complicated technical stuff, but he’s [...]
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Mantyhose, Guylons, and Brosiery – This Fad is Strictly Optional
Dear Men, If you want to wear pantyhose because that’s a thing in Europe now, I’m not going to point and laugh. I’ve got a pair of glittery high heels that make my feet bleed, but I wear them anyway because the tv says they make me look sexy. But if you choose to reject [...]
It’s SUPER TUESDAY, Bronies! Have I Got Some Super For YOU!
If you’ve been too busy analyzing the new Avengers trailer frame by frame to bother paying attention to national politics, Rick Santorum is still banking on the notion that enough people want to turn A Handmaid’s Tale into a reality to vote him into office, Mitt Romney has a stable full of American cars just [...]
GLOVE YO’ LOVE PART II: SECOND HORSEMAN OF THE APOCALYPSE!
It’s pestilence, right? I’m pretty sure it’s pestilence. Soon abortion will be inaccessible unless you have a coat hanger and a death wish because JESUS! I’ll put aside the fact that this isn’t exactly what I envision for a warm, flaky, American democracy and simply remind you that it is imperative that you wear a [...]
A Man and His Dog – HELP Find Vegas in Asheville, NC
This is Vegas. He is small, he is helpless, and he is missing. I don’t care who you are or how you feel about tiny dogs (They are precious. DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME!) because nothing should come between a man and his loyal canine sidekick. Vegas’ human, Asheville tattoo & piercing shop owner Daron [...]
GOP Oversight Committee Hearing – Just Five Bros Talking ‘Bout Hoes
This is a photo from yesterday’s hearing on birth control. These five BROS testified on women’s health as it pertains to their access to birth control. As you can see, three of these BROS are religious leaders. Men, you know I think the world of you. You know I’m in your corner all the [...]
MANspiration of the Day – Newt Gingrinch and Moon Vagina
There’s a short story by Arthur C. Clarke that revolves around a journalist who discovers that a colony of scientists have been keeping secret the knowledge that living on the moon has the potential to extend a human’s life span by up to 200 years. That, coupled with the prospect of scoring Moon Vagina (which [...]
In defense of the guy who thinks my boobs are too small
Once upon a time on a website completely unrelated to a mine where one of my bikini photos had been posted, an anonymous user remarked that my boobs were too small. Remember that scene from Rocky Horror Picture Show where Dr. Frank-N-Furter looks at Columbia and yells “I didn’t make him for YOU!” because she [...]
We are anti-SOPA. We are also naked.
I briefly considered a 24 hour Blackout of PluckyCharms.net in protest of SOPA, but then I remembered that we can barely keep the lights on as it is and turning away readers, even for one day, would be a kick in the ovaries that we just can’t afford. I’m glad Captain EditorPants had the wherewithal [...]
A Pre-Christmas Pep Talk for all my Bronies
It’s almost here. Gird your loins, tighten you sphincter, suck down a quick beer, and prepare yourself for the holidays with your girlfriend’s family. You and I both know that your girlfriend’s parents are not bad people. They raised her up to be your dream woman, didn’t they? And her brother, who seems to relate [...]
In Memoriam: Christopher Hitchens aka “The Hitch”
Christopher Hitchens, 1949-2011 Christopher Hitchens is gone but the Kardashians remain, because the world is a cold, cruel place where haterz gon’ hate (feel free to troll at your leisure, good sirs and kind ladies) and lovers gon’ love. The spines on my copies of Letters to a Young Contrarian and God is Not Great [...]
The Challenge – A Direct Appeal to the Readers
Dear Readers, I don’t have a penis. That means there are a glorious multitude of products designed to enhance you performance, make your pork sausage harder than a granite countertop, and give you an erection that will outlast an episode of Law & Order that I couldn’t possibly provide accurate real-world product reviews on because [...]
The Editor’s Response to Plucky’s Challenge
The editor issues a response to this challenge by Plucky Charms My Dearest Plucky Charms, Please come in from the streets and put your clothes back on. Our readers come here with the specific intention of witnessing you put things up your butt and commit unspeakable sins with helpless action figures and the rest of the things you [...]
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That Time I Came Out
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Sexy Art Saturday – Now with More Fan Service!
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Guild Wars 2 Preview – This is a Game to Watch!
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