Yay! My first reader letter. I’m so excited I may have tinkled a bit. Don’t judge me! I’m like a puppy. Soft, warm, and I love to lick people’s faces. Anyhoo, moving on to the important stuff. My new BFF writes: forgive me if you’ve already answered a question similar to mine for i have [...]
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Reader Letter – Dad’s Back on the Dating Scene with Two Kids in Tow
Dear Plucky, My wife and I are divorcing and I will be back in the dating world soon. We have 2 children together. What is the best way to address this with potential ladies? My friends say it actually gives me an advantage– so I dont want to fuck that up. Dating Dad Your friends [...]
STAR WARS *cue music*
Sometimes I’m called upon to give advice that falls outside of garden variety dating/sex/relationship advice and squarely within the realm of pure unadulterated nerdery. I’m happy to oblige. Fresh from the PluckyCharms mailbag comes this query from loyal reader JohnnyC. He writes: So exactly in what order should I watch the Star Wars movies? JohnnyC [...]
Glove Yo’ Love: Snooki is pregnant and other signs of a pending apocalypse
Somebody went and knocked up that orange midget with the pompadour from Jersey Shore, which definitely counts as the First Horseman of the Apocalypse. Call me cynical, but I get the sense that this pregnancy is a happy accident. Thankfully, Snooki can use all that sweet Jersey Shore money to provide her spawn with all of [...]
Plucky’s Law of Blowjob Averages – Get the Hell Out Of Your House!
Dear Plucky, So how do I find date-able women when I don’t drink, do bars, coffee shops, or bookstores? Your friend, Homebound? You’re not into bars. You’re not into coffee shops. You’re not into bookstores. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, SIR? The thing about meeting women is that it’s kind of a numbers game. Okay, not [...]
In defense of the guy who thinks my boobs are too small
Once upon a time on a website completely unrelated to a mine where one of my bikini photos had been posted, an anonymous user remarked that my boobs were too small. Remember that scene from Rocky Horror Picture Show where Dr. Frank-N-Furter looks at Columbia and yells “I didn’t make him for YOU!” because she [...]
Reader Letter – The Friend Zone Revisited, again.
Over the weekend I was so busy appreciating Kate Beckinsale’s black latex-clad ass in 3D (The Underworld franchise is the new Resident Evil, by the way) and trying recruit someone to help me dye my hair so that the bathroom didn’t end up splattered with little flecks of “dark chocolate mocha” that I neglected to [...]
Plucky’s Greatest Hits – Tiny Little Hamster Dick
Dear Plucky, I’m 19 and I’ve always thought my dick didn’t give girls much to write home about. In the past it’s stopped me from going after girls I was attracted to because I’m only 4 and a half inches hard and I can see myself getting rejected by really hot chicks who are used [...]
Dr Who – The Wardrobe Edition
For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, this is the first in a series of posts answering questions posed by my new penpal The Doctor. Okay, so he’s not actually THE Doctor, but in order to protect his identity I’ve assigned him a respectable alias. Just be glad I didn’t make him a [...]
Plucky’s Greatest Hits – How to be a Cunning Linguist
Dear Plucky, I’ve been with my girlfriend for about three months. When we first got together I gave her what I thought was good oral sex a few times, but since then she hasn’t had any interest. I finally asked her why because she told me in the beginning of our relationship that she’s really [...]
Boys, Meet Doctor Who
Divorce is ugly and expensive, but it can also be liberating if you mistakenly married what you later discovered to be the goddamn Kraken. Everybody makes mistakes, but some of those mistakes take you to court and rape your bank account like it’s the smaller of two inmates in one of those maximum security prisons. [...]
Reader Letter: Will you have sex with me?
Dear Plucky, Please, I would do anything in the world for you to have sex with me. You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I am generally considered decently attractive. What do I need to do to have sex with you? Short Answer: It’s probably not gonna happen. Long Answer: [...]
Reader Letter: Now I ain’t sayin’ she a gold digger…
Dear Plucky, I’m an IT professional and I make a comfortable living. I’ve been dating this girl, let’s call her Anna, for about 6 months and I’m getting the distinct feeling that she’s only with me for my money. Anna hasn’t had a job since the restaurant where she was bartending (that’s how we met) [...]
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