Yay! My first reader letter. I’m so excited I may have tinkled a bit. Don’t judge me! I’m like a puppy. Soft, warm, and I love to lick people’s faces. Anyhoo, moving on to the important stuff. My new BFF writes: forgive me if you’ve already answered a question similar to mine for i have [...]
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Saint Valentine Wants To Get You Laid! Liberator Wedge Edition
The Liberator Wedge is a gift to the G-Spot Don’t be cynical about Valentine’s Day. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to set the kind of romantic mood that allows you to introduce something new and awesome to your sex life that has a lasting positive impact on your relationship. Yesterday’s boot-knocker was spicy [...]
Plucky’s Greatest Hits – The Three Magical Rules of Anal Play
It’s honesty time, men folk. Much like you, I love everything about women. I love vajayjay, which is essentially all of the good things in the world conveniently packaged and placed in an easy to reach location not far from my other favorite place on a woman’s body, the breasts. Clearly whatever wonderful things were [...]
Plucky’s Greatest Hits – How to be a Cunning Linguist
Dear Plucky, I’ve been with my girlfriend for about three months. When we first got together I gave her what I thought was good oral sex a few times, but since then she hasn’t had any interest. I finally asked her why because she told me in the beginning of our relationship that she’s really [...]
Sexual Position of the Day – A Second Magical Holiday Edition!
I’m not gonna lie, folks. I just clicked through about 40 pictures of Doug Hutchinson and Courtney Stodden and even if you were willing to overlook the age difference (subtract Toddlers in Tiaras from Murder She Wrote) there would still be something odd and off-putting about the two of them together. Maybe it’s because he [...]
Sexual Position of the Day – 1st Day of Christmas Edition
We haven’t done a Sexual Position of the Day in a while because frankly I’ve been too busy challenging Captain EditorPants to a penis duel and drinking enough Scotch to “kill or stun the average mule” in the style of the late and sorely missed Christopher Hitchens. But all that is about to change, because [...]
Celebrity Sex Position of the Day – The Loki
Those of you who were aware of a Marvel universe before the theatrical release of Thor are probably a bit baffled at all the intense fangirl magic that suddenly surrounds Tom Hiddleston’s Loki as we see him in the film. I can understand why. He’s a bit of a tool and trading in that green spandex [...]
Celebrity Sex Position of the Day – The Agent Coulson
It’s getting taken down by the studio all over the place and it might not be here when you see it but, seriously, watch this video and then tell me kids, how fucking cool is Agent Coulson? Seriously, did you see that? I thought flour was for muffins and shit! All right, so Son of [...]
Celebrity Sex Position of the Day – The THOR!
Anyone starting to feel sorry for my Lil’ Mystique yet? I’m sure all of my Avengers-lovin’ kumquats have been waiting for me to come out with a Position of the Day for Thor, but I’m a heinous bitch and I like to keep you waiting so I started with Black Widow and Nick Fury for [...]
Celebrity Sex Position of the Day – The Jedi Knight (NSFW)
Sometimes I feel like I’m being a little exclusive with all of my Marvel fangirl-gasms. It’s not like that’s all my little kumquats are into. Some of you have been able to name every character in the Star Wars universe since you were knee high to a womp rat and a few of you (okay, [...]
Celebrity Sex Position of the Day – The Iron Man
Guess who finally got around to purchasing a female action figure so her readers don’t have to be subjected to her homoerotic fantasies about two male Marvel characters boning? I’ll give you a hint: NOT Nancy Reagan. So yeah, some of you on the Twitter and the Facebook clued me in to the fact that [...]
Celebrity Sex Position of the Day – The Captain America
Remember in 2010 when those photos came out of Chris Evans on the set of Captain America: The First Avenger and he was definitely wearing my mom’s capris and looking like the beefiest 10 year old boy I have ever seen? I was deeply concerned, but that didn’t stop me from buying $20 worth of [...]
Celebrity Sex Position of the Day – The Robert Downey Jr
I’m fairly certain that 30% of the fluid circulating in Robert Downey Jr.’s body is made up of a permanent amalgamation of Bourbon, cocaine, and pure liquid badassery. That’s the only plausible explanation I can come up with for how he continues to walk among us and make movies that catch me in their tractor [...]
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