Once upon a time on a website completely unrelated to a mine where one of my bikini photos had been posted, an anonymous user remarked that my boobs were too small. Remember that scene from Rocky Horror Picture Show where Dr. Frank-N-Furter looks at Columbia and yells “I didn’t make him for YOU!” because she didn’t exhibit the proper level of awe and wonder at his creation? Yeah, that was my gut reaction. Nobody likes it when you down-talk their sweater puppets.
When I finally calmed down enough to take all of the pins out of the voodoo doll and stopped trying to figure out which family member I could convince to co-sign a loan for lady lump surgery, I thought about my own personal preferences when it comes to women. I happen to think that small calves are unattractive. No, like really. Girls with legs that look under-used and calves that lack muscular definition are all sorts of unsexy to me. I can’t help it. And even though I recognize that a woman’s worth as a human being is not defined by the shapely-ness of her lower leg, I still won’t date her unless I can’t get both hands around the largest part of her calf muscle.
So yeah, it’s okay if you think my boobs are too small. You can hold out for a girl with mountainous tits and I’ll keep my eyes peeled for a woman that can crack a walnut in the bend of her knee. Errbody got they somethin’.
The Plucky One
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As if you need bigger tits to make yourself more attractive! You’re quite lovely just the way you are.
I volunteer to crack that walnut for you, though.
CRACK IT!
So, I’ve spent the last little while checking out your site. It’s really quite entertaining, and I’ve enjoyed it so far. Buttttttttttt….yeah you knew there was going to be some butt in there somewhere!
heh But>>>”You guys really have the chips stacked against you. You have simple needs, simple desires and would be perfectly content to finish sex in under five minutes and go right to sleep.” Ummm yes I’m a guy. And yes I really enjoy women…..”really enjoy them.” But I’m afraid I have to disagree with the comment you made in your “about you” section. I feel that if you’re simply content with 5 minute sex and a nap….Then DAMMIT! You’re doing it wrong! If sex is not ongoing for at least several hours in some fashion (ie…teasing, pleasing, fondling, licking, and everything in between) Then you simply have the wrong partner, and “definitely” the wrong attitude. Ummm just thought I’d clear you up on that point. 
Up until now, I’d never actually read the About Me section. Captain EditorPants cooked all that up. In fact, I think he wrote that as a place holder and we’d planned on having me crank it out in my own words and just never got around to it.
You’re quite right though, my little summer sausage. Sexual compatibility does require a certain amount of commitment to making the sexy times that goes beyond 5 minutes of sex and a nap.
I’ll tell you what I’ll do, because I appreciate the time you took to go through all of our content, pick this out, and give it an honest and kind critique; I’ll change it to more accurately reflect my own understanding of men’s sexual wants and needs and not those of Captain EditorPants, who is apparently some kind of 5 minute wonder in the sack.
In the morning, check the About Me section and let me know what you think.
I have to say that Paladen might be in a very small club.
I contend that most men have either been conditioned, or show complete disregarded, to the fact that women need time to reach full arousal. If they spend “at least several hours” working on their partner’s needs, it may not be because they want to. Rather, it’s what they’ve been taught to do in order to be a caring and compassionate lover.
That doesn’t mean they would necessarily CHOOSE to do so.
Tell me this, Mr Uber-Lover, do you masturbate for hours, teasing, licking and fondling? Or, do you have a quick wank, clean up, zip up and move on?
EditorPants
RUH ROH!
http://memebase.com/2012/01/26/internet-memes-we-got-a-bad-ass-over-here/
Thanks Plucky! And umm I didn’t mean to change the subject and hijack your thread about your boob-bage! (I think they’re just fine, and suit your body perfectly!
) Besides “tit’s” not rather they’re big or small “tit’s” rather or not you’re in proportion with your body and how you use them. 
Thanks for the response above. I will recheck your “about me” page and let you know.
Thread derailment happens.
WoW….verily I doth believe that someone pissed in yon editor’s oatmeal this morning Plucky.
Hmmm, well first of all I’ve never been “forced” to do anything to a woman. It’s always been a “choice.” And I choose to “enjoy and savor” all of the “gifts” that a woman is “willing” to give. Yessss I said willing…..because I don’t feel that she should be forced into anything either. Face it!….If you are lucky enough to find a lover that is on the same page as you….why would you NOT spend hours enjoying every moment and making sure they’re satisfied???
As far as being an Uber-Lover goes….That’s your choice of words….Not mine.
Also, you’re comparing masturbation to bliss….it’s two different animals.
….And well truth be told….I prefer not to rush that either. Too bad about the licking part when it comes to masturbation….but if I could contort myself to reach it….I would!
Oh yeah….if indeed you are a man and not a woman Mr. Editor Pants. What’s your major hang up on men that you would be so quick to lump us all in the same category??? True!….some men are pigs…but not all.
Listen, I’m glad you’re here because you’re a reader and a contributor. I’m not going to engage you further for fear you might bust out the entire Old English dictionary on me. Have a lovely time here at Plucky Charms. Thanks for pointing out what you find.
Ed
I just stumbled here from the Planned Parenthood post–all I got say to whoever left that earlier comment: no way!
Ah well….”Cie La Vie Mon Ami!”
Women and men are from two different planets but the people on those planets are in different colonies, some all by their lonesome.
…What???
I don’t know, I’ve been drinking. In a nutshell… ERRBODY’S DIFFERENT! Or lying.
~Das Pistol