It’s honesty time, men folk.
Much like you, I love everything about women. I love vajayjay, which is essentially all of the good things in the world conveniently packaged and placed in an easy to reach location not far from my other favorite place on a woman’s body, the breasts. Clearly whatever wonderful things were left over after vajayjays were made went into creating boobies.
As much as I love the vag, I don’t mean to neglect the booty, which is the subject of today’s post.
The ass is a wonderful thing. It’s nice to look at in a pair of tight jeans and it’s handy to grab if you happen to be lifting someone up while they’ve got their legs wrapped around your waist. So nifty! And when it comes to getting frisky, a little anal action can spice things up for both of you. I’m all about making good sex even better, particularly if all parties in attendance can benefit.
But enjoying the badonk-a-donk means abiding by a few cardinal rules. The ass etiquette, if you will. I’ll get to the specifics of rimming, plugs & beads, and good ol’ anal a bit later. First let’s cover these three basic rules.
1) Make sure she’s down with the brown.
Contrary to what you’ve learned from visiting BustyBackdoorBeauties.com (I just made that domain name up, but I’ll pin a dollar on you if it turns out to be real or if you buy it and use it to as a chihuahua rescue site or something) not all women enjoy taking anything up the butt let alone your happy, eager trouser snake. Before you slip her the brown pinky, remember: It’s called “The Shocker” for a reason. You’ll be shocked as hell at how fast she gets up, slaps the taste outta your mouth, grabs her purse and walks out. Don’t be that guy who tried to give her the ol’ slippery dolphin and ended up alone with a handprint on his cheek and a bewildered look on his face.
If she rolls her eyes and tells you in no uncertain terms that it ain’t happenin’, give her something to think about. Whether she’s tried it or not, tell her to pick a time when you’re at work (or out with the boys or whatever, as long as she can have a little alone time) to pull out her vibrator and give herself a little attention.
Tell her once she’s good and wet to get her middle finger (or a modestly sized butt plug) nice and lubricated, relax and insert it into her anus, then continue stimulating her clit with the vibrator. If it doesn’t do anything for her, at least she tried and she’s a heckuva gal for it. If it enhances the experience, which it does for many women, try offering to use one of your fingers next time instead.
2) Anything taking that magical journey MUST be adequately lubricated.
Unless you want your girlfriend to kill you in your sleep make sure that whatever you’re using for anal pleasure is well lubricated, be it a finger, a toy, or your dick.
The gooey goodness us ladies produce naturally might not be enough to keep the bootyhole comfortable for very long, so I recommend using a lubricant specifically designed for anal action. A good anal lube will be water based and thicker than the stuff designed for standard lovin’.
For a full rundown on what to look for in an anal lube and Plucky’s Product Reviews see my upcoming post on the subject. I promise not to leave you hangin’ boys!
3) Double dipping is strictly prohibited!
Nothing gets to play in vajayjay land once it’s spent time in brown town. NO EXCEPTIONS!
You don’t want your girl to be out of commission because of a painful infection, especially if it resulted from carelessness on your part.
Keep all toys, regardless of what orifice you use them in, clean and dry when you’re not using them and follow the manufacturer’s directions for cleaning and sanitizing after each use. If you use your fingers (or hers) for anal play I highly recommend that you either utilize a finger cot or make sure you wash your (or her) hands thoroughly-nail brush and all- before you get into any post coital cuddling.
The bootyhole may be a fun place to party, but it requires a certain degree of hygiene and responsibility.
Think you’re ready to give anal play a shot?
I’ll be posting more on this and many other topics. Remember guys, I’m here – as a girl who likes girls – to help you please your girl.
The Plucky One